Drugs in Sports

I don't care.  No, I don't care.  Do what ever you want.  If you think that you are not cheating because other people are also cheating you are wrong.  If what you are doing is against the rules then you are cheating.  If what you are doing is using performance enhancing drugs to keep your body at a higher level or to recover faster or do something that your body wouldn't naturally do then you are cheating.  Even if the top 1000 other athletes in your sport are also doing exactly the same thing, you are all fucking cheaters.

Cheating is a choice, you are free to make that choice or not.

I used to want to know why, I wanted to hear the sordid details about loving the sport and being shut out and being heart broken after working your whole young life to get to the top level.  Now I say I don't care.  Cheat or don't, I don't care.  And no I don't believe you.  You might be 20 and never had seen anyone use drugs, I still don't believe you until you make me believe you.  You can thank Lance Armstrong for that.  That is his legacy for me.  He was so horrible to those around him and to the people who were just trying to do their jobs that I will never again be able to believe the denial.

When I congratulate you with a weak smile and a "great job" then check the Watts/Kg and then maybe I'll say "wow."  No more will I say "that's unbelievable"  because if you are clean you had better not be doing anything that is unbelievable.

I don't blame you, I blame myself.  I suspended disbelief.  I wanted the unreal to be true.  I believed in heroes and fraudulent romanticism.  I thought I was watching something else, I was watching fiction and I loved it.

Now, I can't go back to not knowing.  I will watch, I will follow but I can't hear any more.  For now just sit on it.  Just wait until it's been a few more months and Lance is out of the news again and there are no television moguls involved and we can try again for an under appreciated sport.

You athletes talk about being caught between and rock and a hard place, the choice is a hard one but I didn't have a choice to watch a sport with or without doping.  We can only participate in the sport as it is until we all clean it up.

So for my part, I will assume you are on drugs until it is proven unequivocally that you are not.  You will wither work hard to show me you are not on drugs or you won't do anything to show that you are not on drugs and then I will know you are on them.  That's the best I can do.  Again blame Lance Armstrong if you think it's unfair.  If you want me to think you are clean you have extra work to do, that's the way it will be for me.  That or if you feel like you could get along without me, that's also fine, continue on the current path, Festina, Puerto, Lance etc.  I don't need you, but you do need me.